My Thoughts

Heute mal auf Englisch. Einfach meine Gedanken:


My thoughts.
Sometimes I really don’t know what I should do and what I should think and how to go on. Sometimes, okay quite often, I don’t even know if I can handle it to go on. Life isn’t fair. I know that. But the question I always keep on asking is: Why me? Where is the luck? Why can’t I be a lucky person? Yeah, I know life is a gift and I also think it’s so wonderful. Really. I know it’s hard to believe if I keep on telling how much I hate all the things. Often I think everything is my fault and I’m the only one who’s guilty. But why not? It’s my life so it’s my decision what I do and maybe I made so much mistakes that I’m in this situation now and can come out of it.
So now I’m crying. I don’t really know the reason and I know it wouldn’t change anything, but I cry. I cry way too often. I can’t change it. But I should. I think I really should change myself, but I don’t know how. And I don’t know if It’s a good idea to change myself. Maybe I’ll lose the last persons in my life who are important for me. I don’t know. I just want a way out of it. But I can’t find it. I don’t know.